Yogyakarta, April 29th 2020—Career Development Center or CDC FISIPOL UGM talked about the topic of relationship in a live streaming session through CDC’s official Instagram, @cdcfisipolugm. The live stream titled “Managing Relationships during Pandemic” was filled by one of CDC’s psychologist, Dina Wahida, M.Psi.
The live stream began on 1 pm, though the elaboration of the material started at 1.16 on. Amidst that gap of time, Dina said hi and chatted with attendants that are already there. Dina also asked for some advice from the attendant regarding the topic and time of the psycho-education live stream session that will be held next Thursday.
Dina started elaborating the material by asking what is on the attendant’s mind when they hear the word “relationship”. Essentially, relationship have multiple meanings. It is not limited to romantic relationship with a significant other. Relationship can also be interpreted as a relation with a boss or an employee, with a friend, and with our family.
Before talking about relationship, it is a good idea for each individual to look within. Because, in each relationship, there are aspects that are rooted in one’s self, such as the ability to adapt, how we view ourselves, and the ability to socialize. Individuals don’t have to ask for everything to be perfect, it is better to accept things as they are. By getting used to accepting things as they are, individuals will be more satisfied with a relationship and will not be too disappointed. By accepting things as they are, relationships will also be more meaningful.
There are a couple of ways in order to create a good relationship. First, give some appreciation and affection towards one another. In a time of pandemic, appreciation and affection can be given online to your significant other, by texting or sending some video that shows how you feel. By giving some appreciation and affection, a caring attitude and attentiveness can be maintained until comfort and codependency develop.
A relationship can be stronger when there is comfort and dependency. A productive dependency and feeling like you need each other is a good thing. But, if you are too dependent to the point where you can be independent, then something needs to be evaluated. There are no limits to giving affection and appreciation. However, don’t overdo it. In order to make showing affection and appreciation more casual, you can use comedy through memes or funny videos.
Second, creating a positive communication. In regards of the first point, a positive communication can be done through showing affection or appreciation to other people even when an individual hadn’t received the same treatment from the other party. Naturally, that will create a reciprocity in a relationship. Other than that, a positive communication can also be done through giving genuine praises that are honest and not excessive. To create a positive communication, unpleasant things should be avoided and compromise is needed.
The third point is to create a commitment in order to build a relationship. Commitment can be created when there is trust, dependence, and loyalty. Fourth, the relationship can be maintained by doing some quality time together. In the middle of a pandemic that forces us to stay in quarantine, quality time can be done through video calls or text messaging. In most cases, video calls is the most effective because we can see the condition and situation of our partner. Other than that, we can also share funny stories or create a spiritual well being and shared values.
Last but not least, individuals should learn how to manage a conflict. The existence of a conflict in a relationship is a good sign because it shows that individuals are emotionally close – seen through individual’s ability to express their emotion.
Therefore, the existence of a conflict in a relationship can be seen as a way and a challenge to build conflict resilience in a relationship. Emotion management should also come alongside stress, insecurity, and overthinking management especially in a pandemic like this. Stress, insecurity, and overthinking management will help individuals in a relationship to adapt to each other. Lets not forget that choosing the right platform is also important in conflict management and settlement. On the end of her elaboration, Dina explained two ways to stop overthinking; by using the basket analogy and an analysis of what matters and what does not.
Dina explained the materials while answering some questions from the attendants. On the end of the live stream session, Dina also read and replied the questions and responses about relationship management that CDC Instagram followers have given a day before the live stream. Dina also reminded that there will be a psycho education live stream with CDC’s psychologist every Thursday. The live stream ended on 2 pm.
Translator : Ni Made Diah A.D